It's Not Easy

Hello everybody, tho there is no one here. It's funny how I put "The Journey" not the destination, when I abandoned a whole 6 years of blog I've keep, talking about my relationship, about how complicated my life, how I have a crush with the cute guy in English Academy class, about how obsessed and crazy am I as a fan of B2ST, TVXQ or Shinhwa, Kpop, yeahhh... but I'm still into Kpop. Don't judge me too soon. 

Now, why did I abandoned the blog? I need a new start. I'm probably one of those people who don't really know what they wanted to do in their teen age. Most of us wandered until the age of 23, and they start the cycle, getting married, pregnant, give birth, be a mom, got a successful career with you, and be happy. But in my case, I'm still wandering. I've always wanted to be free. Ever since my high school, I begged my mom I wanted to stay in hostel to concentrate on study, but really I swear I do not study at all, and I did not improve at all, I just don't wish to stay at home. Although I love my family.

So after I graduated from the university, I chose to migrate to Peninsular Malaysia, in order to be free. To do everything on my own. To be mingle around the city without needing to tell my dad where I go, with who, and what time I'll be home. But I'm not a wild wild girl. I'm just trying to find out my own will, the kind of life I want. I don't want to have a simple life as everybody does. Well not to say that they don't have a rough road ahead, We do, everyone of us. Life is not a fairy tale. Gosh even fairy tales have difficulties, problems, or anything equal. But yeah, we all free to choose the kind of life we want to. 

A part of me want to choose the road like everybody else, get married, pregnant and continue the cycle. Part of me wanted to travel the world where there is no one know me. I currently in a relationship with a foreigner. Almost two years, he is a Nepali, and a wonderful person. And people around me be like, why does it has to be a foreigner, and plus a Nepali. Like Nepali is not a human. They're poor, but not as poor as most people's' souls here. Why I want him? Why I don't want to give him up knowing that the relationship not going to be easy? Correct! That's the reason. He worth the struggles. He worth the pain. He love me too much. How am I confident? Don't know. He changed a lot. Like from a casanova to a total sweetheart. You can really see the difference. He is just like me. Wandering. Trying to find out what his soul need. So yeah... I love him. 

I love thrill. It's about the journey. So I think it is relevant for me to delete the old blog. And start fresh. By the way, please call me Fei, another nickname from my wonderful ex housemate. A Malaysian. Still wandering. I hope this blog record my journey in a more mature way. I'm sick of being childish tho someone always call me a 2 years old kid. 

Please be nice. Please guide me. Please be a good friend of mine on Internet. :)